As a child of a single mother who raised me to appreciate a good deal when I see one, the following reasons are why I, a Korean woman, am DEFINITELY having a kid.
Free Subway Seat
Who wouldn’t be enticed by the prospect of a guaranteed seat during the grueling 90-minute commute to work? It doesn’t matter if I have to work until 9 pm and can’t afford to live in Seoul because of skyrocketing real estate prices. I’m just one pregnancy away from ensuring a VIP pass to comfort in a packed train.
Priority Parking
Finally! With a baby bump, I can make use of the priority parking spots for my nonexistent car. I might not have the money for the car itself, but hey, it’s comforting to imagine a world where there would be a spot waiting for my unborn Kia.
Baby Bonuses
Who needs a raise or equal pay when the government practically throws baby clothes at you? Free rice cake, government voucher, and child allowances? Diapers must be a girl’s new best friend!
Maternity Leave
Three whole months of maternity leave? Sign me up! Fingers crossed my job is still there when I get back. Sure, I may risk getting ‘mommy-tracked’ at work, but at least I can binge-watch Squid Game in between feedings, burping, snot-sucking, diaper changing, and Google-diagnosing my new, very demanding, tiny boss!
Fertility Treatment Subsidies
Who cares about addressing work stress, the crippling housing crisis, and the collapse of work-life balance when we can have subsidized fertility treatments? If only I had time to schedule these appointments! Maybe I should pencil in “procreate” between my 10 pm project deadline and the 1 am conference call.
More Rewarding Work
Why limit myself to just 12-hour workdays and the never-ending house chores? Having a baby would mean I could add ‘full-time childcare’ to my resume! More diaper changes, sleepless nights, and the responsibility of shaping a human life? Sign me up for that overtime!
Passing on the Legacy
Just imagine, if I have a daughter, she too can ascend to the throne — the subway throne, that is! She’ll get to experience the joy of living in a country where women work just as hard (if not harder) but earn less. She can look forward to a lifetime of battling sexism, juggling household chores with work, and having the luxury of priority parking during pregnancy. Oh, what a joy it is to pass on this legacy!