Despite the author’s repeated requests, the scientist would not acknowledge that chocolates are a key part of the food pyramid.
The scientist also soberly dismissed the proposal that wine be categorized as a serving of fruit, completely ignoring the obvious grape connection.
What follows is a heavily abridged list of propositions that the scientist refused to endorse.
- The scientist would not validate that coffee is a suitable substitute for eight glasses of water a day.
- The scientist would not affirm that the adrenaline rush from binge-watching thrillers counts as cardio.
- The scientist would not confirm that scrolling through social media improves hand-eye coordination, therefore constituting brain training.
- The scientist would not concede that sleeping in on weekends equates to a form of time travel.
- The scientist would not certify that donuts are technically circular vegetables.
- The scientist would not acknowledge that playing video games can be considered as UX research.
- The scientist would not accept that hours spent watching reality shows can be deemed as social study.
With her belief in science badly shaken, the author asked one last time: could he prove that dog years apply to humans, so we can calculate age in dog years and feel a solid seven times younger?
To this, the scientist replied, ‘Aunt, you know that I’m a computer scientist, right? Please call mom. She’s worried about you.’