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Medium years / September 25, 2022

My Life in 1st Person POV

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Originally published on Medium on September 25, 2022. View original

I think that loose Tic Tac I found in the kitchen wasn’t actually a Tic Tac. It wasn’t minty at all, come to think of it.

I’ve been staring at my hands for 5 minutes straight, and it dawned on me. My life is stuck in Tutorial Mode.

So with the help of another Non-Tic-Tac, I wrote down all the clues to my condition.

  1. Only have a vague sense of what I’m doing due to limited perspective.
  2. No clue on how to talk to other players.
  3. Often unsure how to interact with objects.
  4. Pretend to know what the game mechanism is.
  5. Learned to control limbs, but still misjudging distance.
  6. Feel like NPCs have too much power.
  7. Didn’t bother with the instructions.
  8. Randomly hitting keys hoping something might work.
  9. Sometimes can see the bridge of my nose.
  10. Still looking for a cheat code.

If you have a condition like mine, please don’t worry.

As long as I can find more of those blue pills, I might be able to solve our existential question once and for all.