Come all ye men married and mated
and hear the song of injustice
that’ll make ye heart go all jaundice
’Twas a night of November,
it pains me to remember;
my beau and I chilling
Interview with the Vampire playing
All of a sudden the lass screams in ire
“O dear, I hear a mosquito near my ear
kill the vile fly my sire,
so I can concentrate on the hot vampires.”
Now, lads come closer
for there’s a detail ye must consider
(’tis a sidebar just for ye and me)
When my wife and I together
and mosquitoes get to know us
bite me would they ne’er
’tis my wife they always favor
So ’twas for love so selfless
that I raised my rolled-up Esquire
and got up to battle a mini vampire
then I waited
even showed some skin to bait it,
…until
(wait for it)
(wait for it)
(waaaaaiiit for it)
WHAM!
I smashed the sucker
splat on the stucco
(and left the body there
as a warning to those psychos)
Glorious, victorious, and surely uxorious
I returned to my dearest sitting on her throne;
but alas, the treacherous wench was
watching the show on her phone!