Sorry, I’m a little emotional today.
I just learned my period is causing climate change, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg — melting, thanks to me.
Killing Bees
If you’re wondering why there aren’t as many bees buzzing around your community garden, that’s on me. I killed them. With my period.
According to the Roman author, naturalist, philosopher, and woman’s health expert Pliny the Elder, the mere presence of a menstruating woman can lead to the death of a whole swarm of bees.
No wonder I was taught to always make my presence inconspicuous. It was for the bees!
Spoiling Sushi
If you’ve ever bitten into a piece of sushi and found it less than fresh, yes, that’s my fault too.
Some traditional sushi chefs in Japan continue to believe that women, due to their menstrual cycles, have a higher body temperature, which could spoil the raw fish.
ごめんなさい、あなたの魚を料理しました。
Sorry, I’ve cooked your fish.
Ruining bakeries
Just when I thought I couldn’t cause more harm, I found out that I have the ability to stop the dough from rising as well.
Apparently, my cycle can control yeast activity.
Is yeast infection a side effect of this yeast-controlling superpower? The thought is overwhelming. I never asked for this much power.
Tainting Sumo Games
It’s not just sushi that I’m ruining in Japan.
There’s a prevailing belief that women, particularly those who are menstruating, are considered “unclean” and aren’t allowed to enter a sumo wrestling ring.
That championship match canceled because the ring was “tainted”? Oops, my bad.
Attracting Storms and Affecting Weather
Irregular weather outside? You should definitely blame me for that too.
There are beliefs in various cultures as well as maritime superstitions and folklore, suggesting that menstruating women can attract storms, darken the sky, and even influence weather patterns.
So, when your picnic gets rained out, or your region is experiencing unprecedented weather events, it’s most certainly my pesky period having a field day, so you can’t.
I know. It’s a bloody mess. But on the bright side, isn’t it nice that in this uncertain time, you can always blame others for everything wrong in the world?