Sunday 28 January
“Would you like some carrots?”
When questioned about what does he REALLY mean by it, the suspect brazenly claimed he was merely offering me some carrot sticks he was preparing.
Unbelievable.
You don’t need to be a seasoned thought detective to connect the remark to the bag of chips I was opening.
I vowed to keep an eye out for further subversive behavior.
Friday 10 February
Last night, the suspect monopolized the blanket and invaded my dreams, chasing me with carrots.
What is his agenda?
I need to stop him before he does something drastic.
Tuesday 31 January
“Are you listening?”
During a conversation, I spotted the suspect’s thoughts loitering.
I made a note and deducted points accordingly.
Thursday 2 February
The suspect referred to my cooking as “creative”.
The fact that he left no trace of sarcasm made the persecution very difficult. He is getting good at this.
Saturday 4 February
2:35 pm
“How are you?” “Good. How about you?”
The suspect took a bite.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
The trap was set.
6:35 pm
I had to temporarily abandon my ingenious trap.
After enduring three hours of strategic silence, I craved Indian food. Our favorite restaurant has a fantastic couples’ set menu.
The suspect feigned ignorance of my tactical switch.
Monday 6 February
Post-dinner, the suspect made a bold move.
“Don’t we have chocolate around somewhere?”
I was flabbergasted.
Did he genuinely think I’d believe an adult could lose track of their own chocolate stash?
However, after intense interrogation, I had to concede that the suspect really didn’t know AND that his question wasn’t a passive-aggressive reminder that I finished off the last piece without sharing — at least not consciously.
To be unaware of his own subconscious motives is an ingenious tactic.
But I know better.
Operation Double Think turned out more challenging than I’d expected. It feels like he’s always one step ahead, even when I run in circles to catch him.
As I pursue this elusive mastermind, I’m reminded of the history of double think and the wise words of the big sister, “Only one person knows what the husband really means. His wife.”