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Medium years / May 9, 2023

Celebrating Men in Marriage

We’ve come so far, we might as well stop

Originally published on Medium on May 9, 2023. View original

Welcome to the annual ceremony for the “Husband Who Isn’t That Bad”!

Tonight, we come together to celebrate the incredible husbands who, against all odds, didn’t do anything really bad.

Held in Seoul, South Korea, this prestigious event is hosted by the Korean Council for Moral Certainty in collaboration with the Institute for Regressive Renaissance.

So let’s lower our standards and celebrate these men who bravely went beyond society’s expectations and achieved the bare minimum.

  1. Husband who never had an affair
  2. Husband who doesn’t gamble
  3. Husband who doesn’t drink
  4. Husband who says sexism is a problem
  5. Husband who doesn’t slam doors or punch walls or worse
  6. Husband who doesn’t mansplain to his wife
  7. Husband who doesn’t hide his finances from his wife
  8. Husband who doesn’t interrupt during a conversation
  9. Husband who puts the toilet seat down
  10. Husband who cooks dinner without leaving a mess for others to clean
  11. Husband who doesn’t make comments about the wife’s family
  12. Husband who helps out with chores without being asked
  13. Husband who doesn’t call his wife emotional during an argument

A round of applause for our incredible husbands who belong to the new generation of “You-Won’t-Find-Anything-Better-Than-Me-So-You-Should-Be-So-Grateful-Imagine-What-It-Must-Have-Been-Like-For-Your-Mom.”

Let’s hope they continue to break barriers in their quest for basic decency!