Dining room, Oct 3 — The Better Half Bureau (BHB) announced the spousal credit system will be effective immediately.
The system, rumored to have been operational since the foundation of the relationship, will assign points to determine the husband’s standing in relation to the dog house.
The analysts commented that the timing of the announcement, during a tense anniversary dinner, indicates that the gas station roses were not well received and emboldened the BHB to officially announce what had until then been an undercover operation.
“The rose-tinted glass has been shattered. The husband gave the bureau no choice but to implement concrete measures.”
The BHB also stated that the goal is to implement effective accounting for harmonious relationships and dismissed the view that the system aims to oppress dissent and strengthen its grip on power.
While the bureau has yet to provide the list of actions that will affect the credit, experts agree that the following offenses are likely to be in the negative category, based on the previous condemnation by the bureau.
- commenting on the wife’s snacking
- claiming the DRY dishes in the sink are ‘soaking’
- repeating poorly received jokes
- trying to explain the jokes
- pretending to know what’s being talked about because it’s ‘easier.’
As to the actions belonging to the positive category, the bureau hinted that it is currently in the protracted ‘discovery period’.
The BHB did not clarify the possible outcomes of the high or low score, but pundits predict the score will affect every aspect of domestic policy handling.